phrasemuffin: Bare: A Pop Opera (muffins invade)
( Sep. 29th, 2008 12:47 am)
... in which paranoia hits.

So... last night was the concert. It was so much better than I thought it would be. Dread was completely and utterly the wrong emotion to be experiencing in the lead up to the event - it was better than Requiem. Because, duh, I'm we're awesome.

However, either just before we went on, or on my way back from intermission mingling, I heard Crazy Eyes talking to his parents. From what I accidentally overheard (I swear it an accident - as if I would purposely pay attention to him or his non-awesome insanity), I think one of those "so is there any chance" questions was posed. The bit of his answer that I just-as-accidentally caught was "no, he's too nice of a guy". It may have just been coincidence that he was facing me at the time, and I know I tend to jump to conclusions about him (even though every conclusion thus far has been both warranted and correct!), but I can't seem to shake the feeling that he was talking about me.

I HAVE A TINY BOWTIE AND IT HAS GIVEN ME AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX! Because it was from when I was like 12 and therefore could sort of hide beneath my collar. My only other optio nwas velvet. I chose the cute inferiority complex.

I really hope he isn't doing carolfest. That'd totally suck. I think I'd have to go and become a Tenor. At least then I'd be able to hang around Patrick more often... if he ever decides to come back. And even if not, there'd still be Ben and Doug to play with. Plus, Aunty Mark is over there now... sigh, the life of a bass always looked so glamorous in the magazines. Also, what was with Aunty Mark not being as confident last night as he usually is? That was really quite disconcerting. Even Crazy Eyes was losing it at times.

But back to the paranoia, I don't get why he'd be saying I was too nice a guy. For what? To tell him to his face, again, that I'm not interested, because that'd break his heart? 'Cause, clearly he doesn't know me very well - I would totally tell him if he brought it up. I wouldn't just come out and say "Hey, I know you like me like me, but please fuck off and die" because that'd be way harsh. Also, I don't know for a fact that he does; it's all circumstantial at this point, still/again. And, yeah, I can't think of any other reason why I'd be too nice. Perhaps it wasn't about me; perhaps this time it really IS just paranoia.

He was doing the weird Lets Look Stare At David While He's Conveniently Not Looking At Me And Never Wonder Why It Is That Our Eyes Don't Ever Meet Ever Ever Ever.

Ever.

Despite The Fact That He Must Be Able To See Me Out Of The Corner Of His Eye thing again last night, though. And on stage! Crazy Eyes, when will you learn?

Sigh. Please let this be the last time I feel the need to be a whiney bitch about Crazy Eyes, on LJ or anywhere else! Otherwise... yeah, it's Tenor Time.

PCP afterwards was fun though. I'm SOOOOOO glad [livejournal.com profile] kayloulee came along!! It is fun to get drunk in your presence. Or tipsy, even, whichever it was (I tend to exaggerate my drunkenness when I get tipsy). Thankfully I had nothing on this morning though otherwise that hangover would have been shocking to work through. Instead, I slept through it. It was a relatively short one, too - I was awake by 10 am! But yes, I was made much glad that you came and partook in the pub-y-ness. :D

Hmmm... I really don't like abrupt endings to lj posts.
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