phrasemuffin: Bare: A Pop Opera (muffins invade)
( Sep. 29th, 2008 12:47 am)
... in which paranoia hits.

So... last night was the concert. It was so much better than I thought it would be. Dread was completely and utterly the wrong emotion to be experiencing in the lead up to the event - it was better than Requiem. Because, duh, I'm we're awesome.

However, either just before we went on, or on my way back from intermission mingling, I heard Crazy Eyes talking to his parents. From what I accidentally overheard (I swear it an accident - as if I would purposely pay attention to him or his non-awesome insanity), I think one of those "so is there any chance" questions was posed. The bit of his answer that I just-as-accidentally caught was "no, he's too nice of a guy". It may have just been coincidence that he was facing me at the time, and I know I tend to jump to conclusions about him (even though every conclusion thus far has been both warranted and correct!), but I can't seem to shake the feeling that he was talking about me.

I HAVE A TINY BOWTIE AND IT HAS GIVEN ME AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX! Because it was from when I was like 12 and therefore could sort of hide beneath my collar. My only other optio nwas velvet. I chose the cute inferiority complex.

I really hope he isn't doing carolfest. That'd totally suck. I think I'd have to go and become a Tenor. At least then I'd be able to hang around Patrick more often... if he ever decides to come back. And even if not, there'd still be Ben and Doug to play with. Plus, Aunty Mark is over there now... sigh, the life of a bass always looked so glamorous in the magazines. Also, what was with Aunty Mark not being as confident last night as he usually is? That was really quite disconcerting. Even Crazy Eyes was losing it at times.

But back to the paranoia, I don't get why he'd be saying I was too nice a guy. For what? To tell him to his face, again, that I'm not interested, because that'd break his heart? 'Cause, clearly he doesn't know me very well - I would totally tell him if he brought it up. I wouldn't just come out and say "Hey, I know you like me like me, but please fuck off and die" because that'd be way harsh. Also, I don't know for a fact that he does; it's all circumstantial at this point, still/again. And, yeah, I can't think of any other reason why I'd be too nice. Perhaps it wasn't about me; perhaps this time it really IS just paranoia.

He was doing the weird Lets Look Stare At David While He's Conveniently Not Looking At Me And Never Wonder Why It Is That Our Eyes Don't Ever Meet Ever Ever Ever.


Despite The Fact That He Must Be Able To See Me Out Of The Corner Of His Eye thing again last night, though. And on stage! Crazy Eyes, when will you learn?

Sigh. Please let this be the last time I feel the need to be a whiney bitch about Crazy Eyes, on LJ or anywhere else! Otherwise... yeah, it's Tenor Time.

PCP afterwards was fun though. I'm SOOOOOO glad [ profile] kayloulee came along!! It is fun to get drunk in your presence. Or tipsy, even, whichever it was (I tend to exaggerate my drunkenness when I get tipsy). Thankfully I had nothing on this morning though otherwise that hangover would have been shocking to work through. Instead, I slept through it. It was a relatively short one, too - I was awake by 10 am! But yes, I was made much glad that you came and partook in the pub-y-ness. :D

Hmmm... I really don't like abrupt endings to lj posts.
... in which there is campitude.

Camp was this weekend. Friday night to Sunday afternoon. Both awesomely good and horribly bad things happened while I was on camp. The horribly bad should have been expected, but there I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. That'll learn me.

For the badness, I'm going to start at Wednesday.

Crazy Eyes (aka David Who's Always There) hasn't been coming to rehearsals because he's been otherwise entangled with opera and musical rehearsals of his own. Given that I'd been struggling with the lack of other Basses this semester, I was rather glad when he came back. For purely selfish reasons, mainly that I'd be able to sing my part despite The Gremlin singing slightly off-key in my ear, and despite all the other basses singing in front of me where I can't hear them. He made it pretty clear he wanted me to stay around for pub after rehearsal, offering me a lift home so I could stay after 10:30 (my usual departure time). So I accepted out of gratitude. Mistake, me thinks*. As he was dropping me off, he offered me a lift down to camp, making it clear that it was out of his way but that he was willing to do it anyway. Again, I accepted for selfish reasons - I didn't want to have to get the train down and I didn't know who else to ask from SUMS who'd actually be closer and less of a creepy stalker. Again, mistake. Not only because he was late, but because I think it gave him the wrong impression. I accept blame for this, but for nothing after this.

Anyway, he drove us down and it was kinda awkward. When I saw we were going past a certain suburb, I had to message [ profile] frozen_icehart to let him know and then decided to keep my phone out the whole time so as to appear like I couldn't talk to Crazy Eyes, as opposed to appearing like I didn't want to. Then we got to camp where I tried to go to my dorm (with The Clique) and "let" him go to the other dorm downstairs. Clearly he ignored all the signals and hints on purpose because it was made pretty damn clear that the bed under mine (they're all bunks) was for Hannah. "Oh, I'll just stay here for now and if she decides later I'll move". DUDE! Hannah would never kick you out she's far too nice for that, and we were clearly trying to because we aren't but we have tact. Take a hint. Get a clue. Move on! Especially if it means not sharing a room with five people who cannot stand you.

So I started avoiding him. I'd been picking up the signs for a while over MSN that he wasn't quite as moved on from his love for me (I can't believe he told our dorm while I wasn't there that he used to be in love with me. Those are their words, too, not mine) as he would otherwise suggest; this just sealed it.

The Staring While David(me) Isn't Looking started up again Saturday, too. So I started avoiding him again.

As I came out of the showers dressed in my themed outfit (sci-fi/fantasy theme, for which I went as a Man in Black), I was heavily complimented by the girlsquad. Crazy Eyes' response was "orgasmic!". So I avoided him more.

He sang during OUR PART, the Small Group Only section, of which he is NOT a member, for which you must AUDITION! which made me quite angry. So I avoided him more. I also began to loathe him. Because prolonged avoidance in small quarters is bound to lead to rage and despising.

Also, when he sings the Bass Soloist's parts (which anyone is allowed to do because we don't have the Soloists with us on camp or at rehearsals but which I'd still prefer he left alone) he has this really affected voice. It's quite horrible. So I loathed him a little more for that.

But there were good things, too. Despite having to share a dorm with Crazy Eyes, I got to share the dorm with The Clique. Marina and Minna are absolutely gorgeous, Paul is not as scary as he seems at first glance, Roman is surprisingly cool for a music nerd (did I seriously just say that?) and Kenny... she's tough, but she's lovable and sweet once you get in. Saturday night, we stayed up until 2ish I think talking and asking each other various camp(not the gay one)/girly/gossipy questions - who are your top 5, who would you go straight/gay/oopposite-of-bi for, etc. There was also a round of Shoot/Shag/Marry. While I wasn't there, the Three Davids were presented as candidates for S/S/M, and I was unanimously Married**. I like that - means I'm Long Term quality in their eyes, Shag being a one night stand.

There were also many comments made about the new hair. I had my hair cut a little over a week ago, and at the last Small Group rehearsal it was unveiled, with warm reception. Or perhaps "with hot reception" would be more appropriate :P It just kept coming up, too. Then, while at camp, it was voted on and "everyone" loves it. Not sure who Marina counted in "everyone", but I'm guessing at least The Clique and possibly Hannah as well. That was one of the first things I was told when I arrived.

Saturday night Hannah and I performed I Can See Clearly Now. We both sang, and she played ukulele. 'Twas awesomely. And we were rather well received. I had had a bit to drink though, as had The Clique, so... I dunno how good I really was. I guess I'll have to wait for the video that Kenny apparently took of us.

Afterwards, once everyone had pulled out the song books and started a sing-along (sigh), Marina, Paul and I were sitting back against the wall and, once again, the question of why I don't have a boyfriend came up. The two of them (along with the other three) remain confused as to why. But the reason I mention it here is because... Paul said I was da bomb :) Paul The Scary Ogre who hates us all*** because he has perfect pitch and we assault him weekly with our voices. Paul The Scary Straight Ogre who gets hit on frequently by gay guys. Paul who I wasn't sure even liked me. Thinks I'm da bomb. He was a bit drunk though... meh, still.

I think that SUMS is now my personal Cheer Squad. How did I get this popular?

* Also, he stole my chips. He said he was allowed because he was giving me a lift home. I didn't want to argue seeing as he was giving me a lift home and I didn't really want it to be awkward all the way home, but what I should have said was "Dude, you're giving me a lift, which I do appreciate, but I'm sticking around at pub so you can give me a lift. That IS your payment! Me!" I know it sounds rather self-everything, but it's true. My presence was payment. And you'd think that he'd get the point after I make a rather obvious show about it, while saying that Kevin was allowed, or at least not ho into them at quite the same speed.

** Crazy Eyes was done good shotted unanimously, too, I think. Or at least just-about-unanimously. Certainly my pick for Shoot.

*** Paul who doesn't actually hate us all, just the seal-clubbers. And Crazy Eyes. And Siu Jin (I think that's how you spell her name), the last concert manager who got drunk on her own lack of power and insulted half the musical community, nearly ruining that concert.
... in which David tells you of things Post Camp, but Pre Concert.

The Vinyl Room!!! There's a place down Shire-way called The Vinyl Room that only plays 80s music. It is love. The only drawback is that it's a grabananna (a.k.a. grab-a-nanna, a.k.a. oldies hang-out). And that it's down in the Shire, requiring an hour's worth of train-riding to get to. This of course led to my meeting scary train guy while I was alone at the unenlightened end of the track; apparently the hobo-looking guy who got off at the stop before he came up to meet me "made [his] brother bleed" so he kept talking about how he was gonna get revenge on him... charming fellow. After meeting Amy, Kurtis, Kelly, Luke, Ash and Erin down in Heathcote, we came back a little way by train and went to the Vinyl Room. On the way, I found there to bee too much vomit on the train floor.

To set this next scene, I shall have to descirbe my outfit. I was wearing my black skinnies, the 4 hour shirt from the Muse concert (blue, long sleeve, pretty and collared), my black cons, a striped emo hoody and a tie; I was told it was an 80s place, and I thought my skinny tie would be perfect for that. I was right, except that while in the bathroom, as I washing my hands, a guy at the urinal started trying to get someone's attention. No one was responding, until someone new entered and said something or other. Urinal Man says "Nah man, I'm talking to Stripy. Hey, Stripy! Striiipy! Dude, what's with the tie? *point at which I realise he's been talking to me this whole time* It makes you look fucking gay!" As I'm just finishing off drying my hands (I am a thorough hand-drier), I don't really think it's appropriate to pick the conversation up this late in the game. Plus, it's the Shire, and I figure that if I say what I want to say - "So? I am gay." - I'll probably have my head bashed in. So, instead, I walk away without aknowledging him, relate the story to my friends outside, and have a good laugh at the old, drunk Urinal Man.

The music there was so good I didn't even need to drink that much to dance. I think I am still loosening up, and I am requiring less and less alcohol to dance, especially when mainly surrounded by friends (but never family). This is good, both for social interactivity, and for my liver. Win.

Afterwards, we went and had hotdogs from a shady outdoor corner vendor thing guy. One of those moveable karts with slightly less hygene than your typical cafe. I didn't really care though - I just wanted food and lots of it, preferably coated in cheese and tomotato sauce. It was good.

As for things This Week, that stupid Choose Your Own Topic Essay is done, but I felt like shit the whole week stressing out about it and staying up until 3:30am Thursday morning finishing it off. And Choir that night just would not end! It went about half an hour late and my dad was waiting outside St Andrew's Cathedral to pick me up and I felt horribly guilty even though I know it wasn't actually my fault, but I'd been standing non-stop for two hours and I was ready to stab Greg, the conductor, or Tamara, the concert manager, I was in that much pain. Thank god for Isaac's massage is all I can say, but even still I was in pain all night. I need a full massage or else my back will never uncurl after Saturday night.

Oh! And they moved me out from the Queer Corner for the concert!!! I have to stand next to Michael now, who unfortunately sounds terribly nasal and repressed. Yes, you can actually hear his repressed nature in his voice when singing. It's all uptight and throatal. Yick. I should have auditioned for the Bass scholarship - I would have kicked his arse. I wouldn't be surprised if he was the only Bass who auditioned. I know that sounds horribly bitchy, and I know he's a nice guy and that I used to be repressed and shy just like him (even more so, probably) but... ugh! No more Isaac next to me :( That isn't his fault, but I got used to having Isaac's and David's voices in my ears, and they had much more confidence in the music than Michael or anyone else I could hear in my new position.

And finally, I've update the SUMS SUPER CAMP post. Everything new is marked UPDATED TO INCLUDE or has a <---- Updated after it. There are 3 new additions. Further additions, as they are remembered or as I am told of them, will be added and linked to in the same way. :)


phrasemuffin: Bare: A Pop Opera (Default)


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