(no subject)

hey guys,
apparently I haven't been getting my emails for some reason... I think it's something at my end, and not LJ, so I'll fix it up goodly.

So... I guess this post is just to let you guys know that I'm sorry if I haven't responded to comments etc.

oh, and hydeist_... I think we need to have a talk *wink*

*sings* Paranoia Paranoia everybody's coming to get me

first of all, this post is from Monday

Second of all, Monday was horrible

The day started ok. I woke up on time, left the house on time, caught the right bus and was at Uni half-an-hour before my lecture (and yeah, I count that as a good thing). I sat down outside the veeeery oldde school building, nearish to a guy named John (who I have spoken to a total of once before). On his other side was a group of older students talking about a compostion they were working on, and when they broke away, a girl sat down next to John and they started talking to each other. I was bored, and had already put my mp3 player away so as not to hinder any kind of possible (and I stress "possible" so as to imply "improbable") dialog between John and I, even though prior to the gir's arrival he had been reading through a text book.

Anyway, most of that is non-important(this is where I laugh at you for not realising this fact before reading it all), bar the fact that John and this girl were sitting to my right and I was sitting alone. By the time the girl was leaving, I had taken out my phone and started playing some random game on it. As I was partially paying attention to it, and partially to them, when she said she was leaving, I shifted more attention towards my phone... BIG MISTAKE!!! because of that, I missed some of what John said as she left, but I did hear some of it - i.e. I do know it refered to someone, and that it was an insult. Something bland along the lines of "he's such a looser". I didn't hear the actual words, so I don't know what it was, but the PARANOIA in me kicked in and, seeing as I was the only other person around, drew a semi-logical connection between his remark and myself - i.e. it seemed like he was saying something along the lines of "what a loooooooser" to her about me.

That one little thing ruined the entire day for me. I started noticing the odd area around myself that no one seemed to want to enter - no one sat next to me in the lecture even though I do know people in there, no one sat next to me on the bus even though there was a seat next to me and I am small, so there's more space if you sit next to someone like me... I also started noticing how fast I was walking (and remembered a similarly not-totally-heard comment from a previous week that PARANOIA connected to how fast I walk due to certain circumstances at the time), and things like how my lips, when dry, tend to not be able to sit comfortably one-on-top-of-the-other, etc.

Like I said, Monday was horrible

It was one of those days when I have just wanted to run to Cumberland Campus, find hydeist_, and cry. I may have chosen running to UTS if it were another day of the week, but seeing as d_vinci and dawn_of_buffy don't have Uni on Mondays...

I'm so glad I didn't have to go to Uni on Tuesday. I fear it would have been another Monday. Or, more accurately, another Tuesday.

NOTE: I don't know if I actually posted about it, but last "term" I had a really horrible Tuesday and it was in no way cool or fun. That was a day I reeeeeaaaaaally wanted to run and find hydeist_ :(