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first of all, this post is from Monday
Second of all, Monday was horrible
The day started ok. I woke up on time, left the house on time, caught the right bus and was at Uni half-an-hour before my lecture (and yeah, I count that as a good thing). I sat down outside the veeeery oldde school building, nearish to a guy named John (who I have spoken to a total of once before). On his other side was a group of older students talking about a compostion they were working on, and when they broke away, a girl sat down next to John and they started talking to each other. I was bored, and had already put my mp3 player away so as not to hinder any kind of possible (and I stress "possible" so as to imply "improbable") dialog between John and I, even though prior to the gir's arrival he had been reading through a text book.
Anyway, most of that is non-important(this is where I laugh at you for not realising this fact before reading it all), bar the fact that John and this girl were sitting to my right and I was sitting alone. By the time the girl was leaving, I had taken out my phone and started playing some random game on it. As I was partially paying attention to it, and partially to them, when she said she was leaving, I shifted more attention towards my phone... BIG MISTAKE!!! because of that, I missed some of what John said as she left, but I did hear some of it - i.e. I do know it refered to someone, and that it was an insult. Something bland along the lines of "he's such a looser". I didn't hear the actual words, so I don't know what it was, but the PARANOIA in me kicked in and, seeing as I was the only other person around, drew a semi-logical connection between his remark and myself - i.e. it seemed like he was saying something along the lines of "what a loooooooser" to her about me.
That one little thing ruined the entire day for me. I started noticing the odd area around myself that no one seemed to want to enter - no one sat next to me in the lecture even though I do know people in there, no one sat next to me on the bus even though there was a seat next to me and I am small, so there's more space if you sit next to someone like me... I also started noticing how fast I was walking (and remembered a similarly not-totally-heard comment from a previous week that PARANOIA connected to how fast I walk due to certain circumstances at the time), and things like how my lips, when dry, tend to not be able to sit comfortably one-on-top-of-the-other, etc.
Like I said, Monday was horrible
It was one of those days when I have just wanted to run to Cumberland Campus, find![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hydeist_, and cry. I may have chosen running to UTS if it were another day of the week, but seeing as d_vinci and dawn_of_buffy don't have Uni on Mondays...
I'm so glad I didn't have to go to Uni on Tuesday. I fear it would have been another Monday. Or, more accurately, another Tuesday.
NOTE: I don't know if I actually posted about it, but last "term" I had a really horrible Tuesday and it was in no way cool or fun. That was a day I reeeeeaaaaaally wanted to run and findhydeist_ :(
Second of all, Monday was horrible
The day started ok. I woke up on time, left the house on time, caught the right bus and was at Uni half-an-hour before my lecture (and yeah, I count that as a good thing). I sat down outside the veeeery oldde school building, nearish to a guy named John (who I have spoken to a total of once before). On his other side was a group of older students talking about a compostion they were working on, and when they broke away, a girl sat down next to John and they started talking to each other. I was bored, and had already put my mp3 player away so as not to hinder any kind of possible (and I stress "possible" so as to imply "improbable") dialog between John and I, even though prior to the gir's arrival he had been reading through a text book.
Anyway, most of that is non-important(this is where I laugh at you for not realising this fact before reading it all), bar the fact that John and this girl were sitting to my right and I was sitting alone. By the time the girl was leaving, I had taken out my phone and started playing some random game on it. As I was partially paying attention to it, and partially to them, when she said she was leaving, I shifted more attention towards my phone... BIG MISTAKE!!! because of that, I missed some of what John said as she left, but I did hear some of it - i.e. I do know it refered to someone, and that it was an insult. Something bland along the lines of "he's such a looser". I didn't hear the actual words, so I don't know what it was, but the PARANOIA in me kicked in and, seeing as I was the only other person around, drew a semi-logical connection between his remark and myself - i.e. it seemed like he was saying something along the lines of "what a loooooooser" to her about me.
That one little thing ruined the entire day for me. I started noticing the odd area around myself that no one seemed to want to enter - no one sat next to me in the lecture even though I do know people in there, no one sat next to me on the bus even though there was a seat next to me and I am small, so there's more space if you sit next to someone like me... I also started noticing how fast I was walking (and remembered a similarly not-totally-heard comment from a previous week that PARANOIA connected to how fast I walk due to certain circumstances at the time), and things like how my lips, when dry, tend to not be able to sit comfortably one-on-top-of-the-other, etc.
Like I said, Monday was horrible
It was one of those days when I have just wanted to run to Cumberland Campus, find
hydeist_, and cry. I may have chosen running to UTS if it were another day of the week, but seeing as d_vinci and dawn_of_buffy don't have Uni on Mondays...I'm so glad I didn't have to go to Uni on Tuesday. I fear it would have been another Monday. Or, more accurately, another Tuesday.
NOTE: I don't know if I actually posted about it, but last "term" I had a really horrible Tuesday and it was in no way cool or fun. That was a day I reeeeeaaaaaally wanted to run and find
hydeist_ :(![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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That is soo horrible!!!
Awwwww =(
I hope that never happens again!
Happens to me sometimes too, but you just gotta ignore it or walk away when you feel something is up. But its best if you just screw it and don't give a damn.
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Also: *sings* Paranoia Paranoia everybody's coming to get me
Lllooveee that song.