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I need one of those days. You know those days where that random person smiles at you, genuinely, and you think 'wow, maybe today isn't totally shit'. I've had only one of those days. Ever. Then again, maybe it was just because he was cute. I don't know anymore; I'm so confused.
But I need one of those days. I'm starting to feel like I'm caving in on myself. Like I'm crumbling under the pressure of the silence weighing down on me. It's a vast expanse of emptiness, let me tell you, and it weighs a fucking tonne. I don't know how much longer I can keep playing the role of Atlas to all these secrets.
I just need one of those days. You know, those days where you rescue me? Where the words get spoken and silence lets go? 'Cause I need help. And I've got no heroes left.
___
Joe's 21st tomorrow night. Eep.
Eep, I say.
But I need one of those days. I'm starting to feel like I'm caving in on myself. Like I'm crumbling under the pressure of the silence weighing down on me. It's a vast expanse of emptiness, let me tell you, and it weighs a fucking tonne. I don't know how much longer I can keep playing the role of Atlas to all these secrets.
I just need one of those days. You know, those days where you rescue me? Where the words get spoken and silence lets go? 'Cause I need help. And I've got no heroes left.
___
Joe's 21st tomorrow night. Eep.
Eep, I say.
Tags:
- 21st,
- jason,
- joe,
- wordsketch
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From:
no subject
I'm working on a Jason character study piece at the moment... I started wondering why Jason did the turnabout and decided to audition, and then wondering why he was refusing to audition in the first place.
Possible reasons he won't audition:
1. He doesn't want to fail.
2. He wants to stay of Nadia's turf. Hard enough being the bright kid with an average sibling, must be ten times harder if said sibling is your twin.
3. Both of the above.
4. He thinks it's not properly manly.
5. All of the above.
Possible reasons he DOES:
1. He finds out Matt is a shoe-in for Romeo: pure competitiveness.
2. He finds out Matt is a shoe-in for Romeo and that Peter is aiming for Mercutio. Competitive plus jealousy.
3. Ivy coos at him. (But no evidence of this.)
4. He doesn't want Peter to think he's a coward.
5. I have this idea that Peter must mean more to Jason than just teh sex, and I'm thinking it could be something about the way Peter isn't constantly tied to the way other people see him. Peter's not a brilliant actor, right? Otherwise he'd have been in competition for Romeo. Also I can't see Peter *wanting* centre stage all the time. But he likes acting, so he goes at it and makes himself the best supporting character he can be. I like the idea of Jason looking at Peter and thinking "hey, maybe I can do something and not be the super star for once"... and then his natural competitive streak takes over and he has to strike out for the star role.