Dirty Jokes in Fairy Grottos

... in which David has revelations.

WTF? I just found out that my surname means "worker" in German.

And do you know another word for worker?

Perhaps smith!

Oh my god I'm just another Smith! Granted a non-German German Smith, but a Smith all the same!

:(

I feel so used. Why couldn't we have kept the 'original' French?

... in which David tells a story.

An Odd First

I can't believe I did it. Last night. My First. My First boy. A guy I've been seeing at the clubs a lot lately, speaking to a bit. I think I might have seen him on campus once or twice, too... but that's not really the point, is it?! I just lost my virginity!!

Well, actually, yeah, it was last night, but I'm still here. I'm still lying in bed with him. It's still dark. He's still sleeping. I'm just watching his chest rise and fall, just breathing him in. I can't believe I'm here. Right here. He looks so good. Even better now, at six, than he did last night. How?! He has perfect hair, even his bed hair is gorgeous. I hate that about him, but, you know, in a good way. In a really good way. Fuck, in such a good way that I'm smiling, almost giggling, at the fact that I hate him for his gorgeous hair. ARGH! I JUST LOST MY VIRGINITY!! And to Perfect Hair With Blue Eyes! Huzzah!!

( Good god he smells good. )

... in which David feels like playing :)

I ended up finishing my essay at 5am Tueday morning with 3300 words. I was already repeating myself, so I had a choice between ending it where it was or keeping on writing and making him hate me. I had to hand it in, come home, and go straight to work - not a good day.

However, one good thing about the day was that Spore's Creature Creator was released!! XD I downloaded the demo (because I can't figure out how to trick it into thinking I'm an American and therefore am allowed to pay them $10 for the full Creator) and have had some fun with it. One's already gone missing though... don't really know what happened - I've still got the .png that it gets saved as on my computer, but it seems not to recognise it or something... I've let them know, but I don't really know what they'll be able to do about it. :(

One other good thing about Tuesday is that I'M NOW FINISHED FOR THE SEMESTER!!! XD

Also, while at work on Tuesday, I had an odd idea: to make my Friends List into a bunch of products to be advertised. It started with a conversation between myself and desi_pixie over MSN in which we greeted each other thus: "PHRASEMUFFINPANTSFACE" followed by "DESIPIXIELOVERGIRL". Days later, I mis-remembered my greeting as DESIPIXIELOVEPANTS. Also, I thought that hers had been far more jovially offensive, but that's ok. And from there it became Desi Pixie Love Pants. So, obviously, I had to challenge myself to see if I could do something similar with everyone else's names. And to make it make a little more sense, I thought I'd add a tag/hook/slogan thingy to each of them.

Sadly, I am yet to do you all. However, I have had quite a few random thoughts upon the matter, and this is what I have so far:

• Desi Pixie Love Pants
  'the love now comes standard'
  (I think this was probably inspired by a post of yours, Miss Amy)



• Highly Eccentric Bass Tuba
  'for when life just isn't bass enough'
  alternatively
  'for when two-Fs-below-middle-C just isn't bass enough'
  (incidentally, there is actually a bass tuba. Also, a contrabass tuba, which in fact has a lower range, being potentially able to reach the lowest note on a piano, or lower depending on the player.)



• Yoda Llama Car Seat
  'now with a video camera attached to an extendable, opposable arm to capture the fantabulousness of it all'
  Far too wordy, but I like the general idea of it, i.e. that I'm referencing your while-driving music videos. And the fact that it says 'fantabulous'. :P



• Hydeon Generator
  'for when Improbability and Random just won't cut it'
  alternatively
  'Proudly producing Random for over 10 years'
  (I so wanted to use this one on you, Jessi)



• Citizen Erased Writing Set
  'this text has been erased due to author not found'



• Goblin Paladin Clockwork Pocket Protectors
  'valiant defenders of nerd pockets since the middle ages'



• Aquatic Fish
  'for when land fish just won't cut it'



• McAres Dragon Warriors: Internet Security
  '100_teeth.jpg; just add virtual water'
  alternatively
  for when real gods of warfare aren't good enough
  because duh! the dragon was a son of Ares, and he did guard a spring, and when Kadmos slew him to get to the spring, Athena advised him to sow the teeth in the ground. From these teeth sprang a host of armed warriors, who for stupid reasons attacked themselves until only 5 were left. These then became the nobilities of future Thebes. That's your mythology lesson for the day, kids. Oh, and it's internet security software because 'McAres' is similar to 'McAfree'... plus the whole Trojan War thing.



• Kaylou Lee's Little Book of Spoilers
  'Warning: some products may contain spoilers'
  Triple reference. I win. (real shirt + two Dr Who references... aside from the obvious Firefly reference, that is)

I was thinking about making this a meme. Something along the lines of:
1. comment below
2. I'll use your username and what I know of you to create a product
3. I'll then add a slogan so it sells well
4. repost this in your journal
5. see how well you sell :P
but I wanted to use all the ones I'd already thought up, and I wanted everyone to be able to see what I'd come up with. Because I may not always be the most creative or funny or whatever, but I'm generally proud of my crap, so there! :P If you want to do it too, though, go ahead - run with it! :D

... in which David has actually done some work.

My final assessment for the semester is due tomorrow. It's a Choose Your Own Topic for A Global Sound: African American Music, and I finally chose my topic yesterday morning: Queen Latifah. I'm going to look at her as an African American trying to return her people to their African roots through her music, and as a woman trying to raise her gender to a level where they respect themselves enough to not allow men to put them down as much as they do, especially in rap, her chosen genre. But I'm trying not to use sentences as long and scribble-y as that. Also, I'm trying to not make up words.

It's to be 4000 words, I realised on Friday - more than I've ever had to write. I have less than a thousand written, but I think I'm probably more prepared for this essay than I have been for any other essay I've written - I have resources coming out my arse, and they're all neatly categorised under the subheadings I'm using to structure the essay (something I've never actually done before) - so I think I'll be ok getting it in on time... or just after.

I swear I thought I had a whole week for this, not three days. How did I get 'Monday' and 'Thursday' confused?!

*much thrashing in anger*

I just lost the last hour's worth of my work thanks to stupid fucking Automatic Updates!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

*WANT TO STAB!*

... in which David performs for the Masses.

Photographical Proofings - you will probably have to be my friend to view it though.

or just look here:


CONCERT HAPPENED! AND SUCCESSFULLY! (perhaps not financially, though... :s)

It was actually pretty shoddy compared to the rehearsals, but oh well. No one not in SUMS seemed to notice, so I'm not complaining. In fact, apart from my parents (who very tactful and blamed the soprano soloist :P), no one even seemed to notice the problems I did. YAY!

But before that I went to see The Orphanage with some SUMSters. It was good. I rate Pan's Labyrinth higher (it's the same director), but it was good nonetheless. Not going to spoil anything except this: it's in Spanish; it has subtitles. Little graphic at times, but then again, so was Pan's.

But yes, the concert. Isaac and David were both late!! and I was worried they wouldn't be turning up at all. There'd have been no way I could sing properly without them there to almost balance out the Michael in my ears. They did turn up though (as the photo shows - they're right behind me)* thank god.

We had to practice sitting, standing and walking, which was frustrating because it's not really that hard. You sit, or you stand, or you walk. What else is there to do? How hard is it to not fuck up?

Concert started and I had no idea where anyone was in the audience - couldn't see friends, couldn't see family. I did see other people trying to get other SUMSters' attention though, and this made me smile. Don't know why, really, but I think it's kinda sweet, even if they weren't trying to get my attention.

Concert came, concert went, and it was good. Many hugs were given and received. I was picked up twice in hugs - once by Patrick, once by Isaac - the second time for longer and with flailing about, which was actually a little demeaning because I felt like a rag doll.

Met up with Amy, Kelly and Kurtis afterwards and had drinks at Starbar. Beer is now $4.40 there, which is nearly enough to make me want to not drink anymore. There were interesting conversations all around, as is usual with that crowd. Mainly centred on sex, as is also usual. There was also trashy, trashy dancing. Yeehah! Amy and Kurtis had to go home, but Kelly came with me to the Post Concert Party. It took us a while to find York Street, but we managed after a bum-steer by a taxi driver. I felt the need to jaywalk a couple of times, at potentially dangerous intervals, but I had a plan - I would tell any on-coming cars that Kelly was pregnant and that they therefore could not run her over, nor myself by association. We would, then, of course, be safe.

Post Concert Party happened, but Hannah, Patrick, Isaac, Cat and Bernie didn't. So apart from the rest of the SUMSters who showed up, it was Kelly, myself and The Clique for most of the night, plus Ben The President - a fine combination of people. I learnt the name of the girl who is always around Patrick when I see him (he never actually introduced us; the rudeness). David was there, and I pointed him out to Kelly, who not-so-ninja-like-ly scoped him out. I didn't actually get a chance to speak to him while there, which is sad, because I didn't get to talk to him after the concert and I didn't get to say goodnight to him at the PCP. I didn't have much more to drink there, in fact I think my total for the night was 4 beers (and I bought Marina a drink for her birthday), but I was tipsy enough due to my lack of dinner to start flirting obscenely with the straight male friends... well, just Ben really. I actually feel more guilty about that than I ever did with Lynn or Jake, because Ben is so pure and innocent. :s

As I said, I spent a lot of the night with the Clique and Ben. The topic of most interest seemed to be Isaac and myself, and the wide-spread belief that I can do better. I really am not sure how to take this: I realise it's meant to say that I'm too good for Isaac and that I should be flattered that they think so highly of me, but... some part of me can't help feeling that, not only is it slack to him, it's slack to me because they're basically insulting my taste. Kenny's first words to me at the PCP (I think) were "So, you like Isaac, huh?", to which I reply "Um.. maybe?", because honestly I'm not sure. Kelly's advice was to "try before you buy", but.. that really isn't me. And apparently Kenny's been told that Isaac likes me, which is not surprising given his behaviour, but it isn't exactly verifiable or even something I should really be taking into account at this stage - I'm still trying to figure out whether I Like him. All the flaws and faults they were picking out in him (bar one - the hair factor) were things I haven't seen, heard, or otherwise noticed, self-obsession being the main one, so I don't know what to think of them. I just feel so comfortable around him, like I could snuggle into him for hours. I don't know. I should probably leave well enough alone and just remain friends with him if I'm this unsure and just see what happens.

Sigh.

The Clique, Ben, Kelly and I all left together about 2am and got McDonalds, then either got a cab (Marina, Ben, Kelly and I, and I think I actually somehow made a profit there :s) or buses (Roman and Kenny, and Minna and Paul) home. It was a good night. A very good night.


_____
* B and Miss Amy, if you could see my head, you could probably see Isaac and David behind me. I just wanted to point out that, yes, they are the people I've been posting about.

... in which David finally writes about camp.
( SUMS SUPER CAMP - highlights are bold )

I may keep updating this as I remember things, or as I am told. Will link back at such times, and remove old UPDATED TO INCLUDE signs. It'd just become confusing otherwise.


Also, on a completely unrelated note, I have a grammar question:
's if you own
s' if plural owns
... what about if one owns plural? 'ss? ''s? "they are the cat's", when referring to that which is owned by a group of cats, just doesn't look right to me :(


________
* a couple, plus two separate males.

... in which David no longer feels the urge to pillage and rape.

I changed my topic question for the Technocultures essay and I'm no longer flailing helplessly in Catch-22s and circularly looping circles of loopy circularity. Yay!

I'm now looking at Spatiality in Wii Sports which is way more fun. And GUESS WHAT! I already have about a third of the words written in bullet form. I am well on my way to actually not failing this essay. I feel incredibly elated. Plus, tomorrow I actually have to play Wii Sports for a bit... for academic purposes, of course :)

sport sport sport sport
sport sport sport sport
sportsportsportsport sportsport!

... in which David knows he still hasn't written about the SUMS camp.

Really, I just wondered if anyone knew off the top of their heads any bads/groups/musicians who have launched their music careers via youtube. I know Arctic Monkeys got big via MySpace, but I'm not sure if there's anyone that big who's used youtube.

Any and all help greatly appreciated! (It's for an assignment if that helps.)

:D

... in which it's been a week since David found out, so he may have forgotten some of them.

In fact, David has.

• When making out with Holly in my stupor, for some godforsaken reason, I was apparently (there is of course, no proof either way, sadly) licking the inside of her cheeks. Seriously, I don't think my tongue extends that far. But whatever, Holly was drunk when she was telling me this at her farewell last Saturday, and I've been sworn to secrecy re her boyfriend, not that I really think it'd be a huge deal.
(Wed, 11th of June, 2008)


• I was carried to Nerida's place. No wonder I can't remember walking there. The last thing I remember is running back in to Purple Sneakers to get my jacket out of the Cloak Room. I don't remember Holly disappearing, but I could have sworn she was there with Phoebe and Nerida when I left them to go back in. And I now remember that, on my way in, I was struggling, except I thought "Hey, I remembered my jacket, so I can't be too drunk". To be fair though, I don't think I was just drunk.



• Apparently I convinced Phoebe that she should "go for it" with Chris, the guy she met that night (who turned out to be a friend of people she works with... and not good people). I didn't tell her to sleep with him or anything (I don't think); I think I just encouraged her to give him a chance and hang out with him etc. Which kinda back-fired because he's friends with the brother of a crazy girl I did musicals with - a compulsive liar and all-round bitch by all accounts from the two guys I know she dated/wanted to date - and apparently he's quite like his sister... and Phoebe got the feeling that Chris was a little like them, too.



• There were photos. I couldn't remember there being any photos until I saw a couple of them, but I only remember the ones from McDonalds. Apparently I even took photos at some point... eep!

Those photos are on Facebook. Feel free to wander over and have a look. I only remember two of them being taken - the two at McDonalds - but I know that, in the one with Holly and myself outside (but in) Purple Sneakers, I'm still sober. I was messaging Peter, I think.

I will get around to posting about the SUMS camp at some point (of which there are also some photos on FB). It was so good, and my costume was a hit. And there were massive amounts of flirting (though mostly jovial and from Patrick The Engaged) and massive amounts of David-Liking (but it was another David Liking me, so... just no). To top it all off, there were massive amounts of bitching by everyone (except maybe some of the oldies) about everyone else, and the formation of an exclusive clique-that-isn't-a-clique... which I'm ok with because I'm at least an honourary member.

However, I'm now sick with a cough and assignments, and I somehow did something to my lower right back area, right where it becomes the pelvis... it's been hurting all morning. Then again, most of my body has been (and I did sleep in a rather awkward position), but it seems different, more like something's out of place rather than just sore joints. It may just have been from all that hugging I did last night... Isaac and Patrick are so huggable. :)